Nicolle

Once again I have failed and I feel like ****!  I have had a lot of things going on in my life.  Some of them are very stressful, sad and I just feel so lost.  So what did I do?  Yep you got it.  Started back up slowly with this and that and before you know it I pretty much have gained back everything I worked so hard to lose.  Maybe I am just not ready to do this.  I feel lousy and hate myself, but I seem to only get so far and then I screw up.  On top of everything that is going on in myl ife I may have to have surgery (again) on my knee.  I go for my MRI on Tuesday and then to the Orthopedic doctor the next week.  Why do I fail so much?  I have the support of you all here at buddy slim, but I don’t have it here at home.  Not really anyways.   Maybe that is one of the reasons.   Maybe I am just using that as an excuse.  I’ve emptied my tracker and deleted my before and after photos.  Sometimes I feel like just smoking again so I can lose the weight, but what does that solve?  Nothing!  Thanks for listening. 

First Hi to all my buddies!  I haven’t been on in a while.  One of my brothers and I have been helping out our parents who are in the best of shape.  For the most part my mother is okay with it, but then other times she isn’t.  Yesterday she broke down and cried in front of the two of us and said she thought she’d never be in that shape and would need our help.  I told her when I get older I will probably need my sons help and I hope he will be there for me and not toss me off to the side somewhere.  Then I started to cry.  They live in the next county over which isn’t too far of a distance, but I will start going after work 2 or 3 days a week and depending on traffic it may take an hour to get there.  But you know I want to be there for the both of them.  They (or at least my mom always was not dad too much) was always there for the 4 of us no matter what.  So now its our turn to do what we can.  As for the weight I have gained 2 pounds, BUT I know its because of all the stress and change in my routine.  Once I get use to it all then I will be okay.  Just wanted to let you all know I am still here I just may no be on too much.  Thanks everyone for being here for me. 

Tonight we ordered food out.  Kind of a celebration.  Long story about that.  Anway we had a gift certificate for Outback Steakhouse.  So I figured we would use it.  Believe it or not I have never been there and I really didn’t know what their portions of food were.  I ordered chicken, ribs and aussie fries.  I opened it up and looked at it and said I am NOT going to eat all this.  It wasn’t a lot of food for the “old me” but now for the “new me”  I made two meals out of it and was barely able to finish the half I took.   I am so proud of myself.    I don’t think I have ever done that before.  You see I grew up where you had to eat everything on your plate whether you like it or not.  That included LIVER.  YUK.  So to be able to “not eat or not have to eat” everything was awesome for me.  Now I have dinner for tomorrow!  Just figured I would share my milestone with everyone.

Today I tell my husband I lost two more pounds this week.  His repsonse.  DAMN!!!! Sorry for the language.  He asked what my goal was.  I told him 157.  He says I don’t think you can do it!  I’m proud of myself.  I spoke up and said  Why can’t you say anything positive.  Why does it always have to be negative.  He changed his repsonse really quick and said no I’m thinking you can get to 147 and then I will work out with you so you can get down 10 more.   He’s like 135 soaking weight.  Lucky him!

A little later I show him all three photos I have.  He is in disbelief I think.  The dog was chewing on a bag of chips he garbaged picked.  DH said did he eat the hot fries I gave you?  No they are still in the window sill where you put them.  My chance now to read him all the replies I got from my post “What should I do”.  After I read him all your repsonses he took the Hot Fries tried to find a place to hide them.  He then took them outside went across the street to the neighbors and put them on his windshield underneath the wiper blade.  He then says.  Go write that to them people!!  Laughing at the same time.  So I really think he understands that food is just an addiction as alcohol or drugs.  So now maybe he will be a little more supportive???  We shall see.  Even though he thought he was helping me by offering me a cheat day he didn’t realize that I am the one to make that decision of when my cheat day is and what I will eat.  It was still nice that he noticed.  I think he also sees all the support from people that I don’t even know personally and thought wow there are others out there going through the same thing.  We will see how long his take on this lasts though.  For now I will take it. 

Check out the new Before and After Photos!!

When I originally started I was 208.  Then I fell off the wagon for about 10 days and gained 4 of the 8 I lost.  So when I came back to the site I changed my ticker to reflect 204.   I now have put it back to 208 and backed up the start date a couple of weeks.

Now for the good news.  I lost 2 pounds this week.  Thats right TWO!!!!  Yes!  I am very excited!  Just a few more pounds before I say bye bye to the 190’s!!  I can’t wait.  I will post my next “after” picture in a while.  Thank you everyone for your support!  Love you all!

Okay I am sitting here at the computer and my husband walks in and says:  “I bought something for you but you have to close your eyes”  So I did.  Okay you can open your eyes now.  I set it in the window sill.  It’s a small bag of Hot Fries!!!!  I say aw oh.  I just look at them not knowing what to say.  Thank you????  He says he have been doing so well its cheat day!  Trust me I WANT them but not sure if I can handle eating a small amount without wanting to eat the whole bag.  At least he noticed I was doing well right????  HELP!  THis is pretty bad I keep looking at the bag!  Oh boy!

I have been riding the bicycle everyday now twice a day for a few days.  I just took my morning ride and wondered how far I rode.  When I got back home I got in my jeep and retraced the route.  It was 4 miles!  My gosh.  I know that really isn’t a lot,  but coming from someone who hasn’t exercised in a LONG time. I feel great about it.  That is 8 miles for twice a day.  I go back to work next week so it will be down to the 4.  Anyways I just wanted to post it.  Have a great day everyone!

Not sure what has been going on the last couple of days.  I got on the scale Wednesday and it said 194.5  Great! I’m thinking.  This tae bo is really working.  I ate normal yesterday and did Tae bo and rode my bicycle.  I get on the scale this morning and it says 197.5  Now I am really ticked because how on earth can I gain 3 pounds like that.  So I am thinking the scale is bad.  Once second it says one weight and if you get off and on it may say something else.  Not always.  I am also going through the change and maybe my body thinks its suppose to be that time but it really isn’t anymore.  Okay so I have a yogurt today and dinner which was vegetable soup that my husband made.  I don’t really like soup, but it was that or something not healthy.  I had two small bowls.  Now I get on the scale and it says 201!  I’m like what heck!  So I jump on my bicycle and go riding until I can’t because of the weather about 35 minutes.  Now I get on the scale and I weigh 198.  Now aI know you can’t lose 3 pounds like that. If you could we would all be skinny.  So its either the scale or menopause.  I’m not even going to have my jello tonight.  :o(  Anyone have any opinions?

Monday I started doing some Tae bo off of some clips I found on line. Yeah its a bit tough for me with my breathing but I try and hang in. I went a bought a CD yesterday and did some of the exercises.  Some I still need to learn the feet hand cooridination.  I guess professional dancing is out for me huh?  HAHAHA.  Anway, Monday morning I took my measurements again because the paper I had them written down on my cat shredded.  So this time its in the computer.  I can already tell the diference in my body so I figured what the heck I will measure myself again.  I lost a total of 6 3/4 inches through my body measurement area!!  I am so happy!  Basically the only place I didn’t lose any is in my hips which is no big deal because I really don’t have any.  Well I figured I would share my happiness with you all.  I also have lost some weight but won’t post until my official weigh in day on Sunday. Yippeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I will be honest with you all.  I had never heard of Taebo until I joined this site.  Even when I was fit (many moons ago) I never did aerobics because of my Asthma.  I found a few small clips online and watched and tried to participate.  As I was sitting here watching the clips my other half walks in and asks whatcha watching?  So I tell him.  Oh I heard of that.  That looks like the basic one (it was)  I don’t think you can do that.  Now do you all see the support I get around here?? 

Can anyone suggest some beginner tae bo that would be good for me?  I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks!